They tell us not to stay silent,

but when we talk

We are asked, if we could have done something different.

We are asked, what we did to incite.

We are asked, why we took so long to speak up.

We are told, to not let it bother us.

We are told, to rise above it.

We are told, to just ignore it.

They tell us not to stay silent,

but when we talk

but when we stay silent

we are Judged.


Bombs of chaos, highs and lows.

Infiltrating crevices, unarmed and shown.

Palpitating the Earth with uninhibited spastic control.

Oppressive to both perpetrator and unwitting soul.

Love is not the medicine.

Alchemy is unknown.

Rinse and repeat, the cycle is in control.

Complex PTSD

Most people associate Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) with war veterans. However, regular civilians suffer from PTSD as well.

What happens when one is traumatized over and over and over again?

Insert Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).

I personally believe the word “complex” should be replaced with “continuous” since the trauma is in fact never-ending.

I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD.

I am hoping to gather the strength to share my story here.

However, there is a giant road block holding me back…

A source of my C-PTSD trolls my every move and seeks to weaponize every step I take.

What does one do when they are ridiculed and abused at every turn?

Do I stand tall and face the inevitable blows – Or – Do I keep quiet?

Indies Supporting Indies

This post is a little over a year in the making. I started writing this in March 2021 and it sat in draft purgatory until now.

My dear IRL friend, previous co-worker, and fellow creative guru Tina Capricorn wrote a blog post featuring me (Holy shit – ME!) as a part of her

Indies Supporting Indies Blog Series

Who is Tina Capricorn?

Tina Capricorn has always been a dreamer, and is finally following her longest dream of writing books. She has always been fascinated by stories and a voracious reader. Her very first word was ‘book’!

A native of Western North Carolina, Tina grew up on a small sheep farm in Western North Carolina. Her artistic passions are not limited to the written word, she also holds a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts from Warren Wilson College with a concentration on painting and illustration. Additionally, Tina has worked extensively in the Cosmetology industry for over ten years, but has retired from salon life to write. She lives with her hilarious husband, and belongs to her emotional support cats, Captain and Peaches. When she’s not writing she’s probably doing the dishes.

Tina is active on social media! Follow her on InstagramTwitterFacebook  and sign up for Bella’s Cosmic Newsletter for weekly blog updates, book events, cover reveals and other exciting announcements!

Feeling like a super fan? Consider supporting Tina’s writing and art through Patreon.

Published Novels By Tina Capricorn

Buy her novels on Amazon!


Well hello there friends! It’s been a while. I had to take a break for a multitude of reasons.

I don’t know about y’all, but 2020 – 2020(too) has kicked my ass so hard that I need a donut pillow to sit on.

The theme of these past few years has been extricating toxicity and old habits that no longer serve me ~~>

Romantic Relationships – Friendships – Blood Family – Existential Career Crisis – Mental Health Struggles – Unhealthy Coping Skills

With the recent full moon in Aquarius, I find myself longing to get back to what makes me dream. What makes my heart soar and feel nourished. What makes my core swell with joy and feeling at home.

I deeply crave to reconnect with my voice and the chess game with words that centers me and brings me healing and peace.

So! Mark my affiration!

I am bringing The Whimsical Whims back to the writing clouds.

Jennevieve Berlin


Her voice was pure and safe.
All I had known was fear and eggshells.
I gravitated towards her like a child reaching for it’s mother.
She soothed me.
She inspired.
I wanted to mimic her.
She embodied all my dreams.
But, reality kept me chained like a dog.
Survival was all I had.
Now she is my disassociated state.
The one I fly to when missed opportunities cut through me
and I feel I am bleeding out.
📸 @douglas_p_cooper_images
✒ @thewhimsicalwhims
#portraitphotography #photography #goth #darkaesthetics #witchywoman #witchesofinstagram #witch #writingcommunity #poem #poetry #modeling #altmodel #poetsofinstagram #indieauthor #ashevillemodel

The Reunion

It’s not the reunion that bothers me.
It’s the triggering of memories.
Deceit, Betrayal, Ghosting.
The carnivorous mutilation of my trust and open soul.
The reunitees are cut from the same cloth.
Shiny, colorful, alluring.
But, once touched,
the fabric is cheap and snags.
Once worn,
skin itches and burns from the fake, synthetic material.
They never deserved me.
They deserve each other.
Together they will stay asleep in their worlds of delusion.
While I continue to wake up,
and see them for what they are.
For underneath all that glitter,
is not gold.
✒ @thewhimsicalwhims
📸 @douglas_p_cooper_images
#poetry #writingcommunity #poem #modeling #altmodel #portraitphotography #photography #gothic #goth #fantasyphotography #gothicstyle #immortalgothic #modelswithtattoos #modelsofinstagram #ashevillemodel